The Definition of Insanity

 Things had been going exceedingly well. We were in Miami, having gathered bags, and clearing customs. Jason called us an uber and eventually it found us. You just never really know what is going to happen at an airport uber pick up spot. It’s never normal. Ever. 

But, things were still looking up- I mean yes it was now 5 am but do you know when a good time to drive through Miami is? 5 am. We arrived, sort of, and eventually had to walk around a building with our bags because someone thought it was clever to hide the hotel entrance around in what looked like some industrial parking garage. Cool. 

Now, here’s where it gets good. Imagine this scene - it’s cold for Miami. Maybe 50. We’re tired. We’ve been traveling forever. We know we are way too early for check-in but we have good status with this hotel chain so we’re hoping to get lucky. The lobby is oddly dark. I suppose it was time appropriate but not really business appropriate. There was one lady at the desk. 

“Hello,” she said. “How are you?”

“We are ridiculusouly early to check in!” I said in the most yay, I’m fun and awesome voice I could muster so she would think we were cool and give us a room.

“Ok, let’s take a look.”

See? That started so well. Then she said, “Good news - I am able to upgrade you. The room is ready but there would be an early check-in fee.” 

RELIEF! YES! I think early check-in fees are dumb but also, whatever. Jason said, “Ok, how much is it?”

Nothing could have prepared us for her saying, “$500”

I’d been traveling a lot and my brain immediately had a thought so I said, “500 dollars? Like in USD?’ Cause pesos was sounding up my alley.

And thus, a very bad situation began. She would not budge when politely asked. I mean, the room was ready. What difference would it make? So, there were 2 chairs in this dark lobby and they were by the exit door. It was cold, dark, uncomfortable but only 10 hours till check in so that was good. WHAT.

And, this next part is what really did us in. I am not making this up but I will tell you with extreme confidence that if you want to drive someone out of their mind, I know how. Because in this cold, dark lobby where we had to sit in these dumb chairs for 10 hours, there was also an alarm going off. Not someone’s iPhone alarm. Like a monitored door had been breached. 

We sat with this for about 2 minutes and finally Jason said to the lady, “Can you not hear that?”

She said, “What?” Like -dead ass. Not being snarky.

Jason, “The alarm that’s been going off the entire time we’ve been here.”

“Oh, that goes off on its own.”

Ok.

Now let’s skip ahead to the part where I let you know THIS WAS NOT TRUE. It did NOT GO OFF. About 45 minutes later, with Jason seconds from murder, some random man walks in the front door, goes over to the alarm door. Sees it going off and walks right back out. A few minutes later, he comes back, punches in the code, and the most exquisite, glorious silence I’ve ever experienced in my life happened. I almost ruined it by saying to the woman at the desk, “Seriously? What is wrong with your ears?”

Was she torturing us? Could she not hear it? Is she that callous? So many questions here.

Awhile later, I asked for a bathroom and she sent me up a floor. You know what’s on floor two? A massive, living area with soft couches, comfy chairs, etc. It was warm. FOR THE LOVE, why didn’t she tell us to sit up there?

About this time, Jason is blowing up the hotel chain about it - including sending a video of the dark lobby with the alarm blaring. Now, hear me - we were polite the whole time and we understand check in times. We were going to wait. Our issue began when she said the room was READY. No one else could be in it between then and us checking in. It was already clean. What’s the deal? If there is one, explain it!

So, the hotel chain was equally horrified and before long the daytime supervisor arrived. Guess where she was from? 

Argentina.

Guess what the first thing she asked us was?

“Where are coming in from today?”

About 10 minutes later, we were in our upgraded room with $0 in early check in fees. It was about 8 by then. Jason was pretty much done with life at this point and went to bed. I took a shower and felt surprisingly good so I went downstairs to the lobby restaurant for coffee and food. Both were delicious! This was not your average hotel restaurant and, in the spirit of Miami, had lots of wide open doors to the outside. I love a good open  air place. 

Later after we’d both napped and cleaned up, we went on a walkabout looking for a late lunch place. We found a terrific row of restaurants and bars and found some amazing tacos and margaritas. The weather this time of year there is perfect - about 70, sunny, and humidity in check. 

We thought this place will likely be a hit when it opens- LOL

We began attempting to rearrange all the things for the final flights home the next day. This is perhaps the thing I hate most about traveling. The annoying manhandling of the crap we have to carry around over and over again for each different mode of transportation requirement. But alas, it must be done.

I wanted to take Jason to the cool Argentinian-esque hotel lobby restaurant so we went down for wine. Turns out, it was wine Wednesday and bottles were 50% off. Praise the Lord. We saw some intriguing Argentinian wines but had no way of knowing if they were good. But then I remembered our new best friend, Jose, from the wine bar in Buenos Aires. I sent him a WhatsApp message with a screenshot of the wine list and a moment later he told us which to choose. We did and man was it terrific! I love making new friends!

While we sat there - super early for traditional dinner in Latin countries and apparently Miami, the cooks were prepping and doing interesting things. There was a full Argentinian wood burning stove going and we watched them grill up fresh pita bread. I guess I was drooling because before long the chef brought us a treat for free to try! I can’t remember what he called it but some little pita bread-beef sandwich grilled to perfection with a delicious savory yogurt sauce. That was enough to be our dinner since the tacos weren’t all that long ago!

Happy with the way the day ended, we went up and sat on our really cool balcony. It had a very comfy day bed big enough for both of us. We sipped our delicious wine and had a cheers to our last night of the trip! 

Buenos Aires by Land

 So, it turns out, we have a butler. And I don’t know about you, but what in the actual heck? 

Our first morning, we butled up some additional coffee pods and a bucket of ice. I couldn’t figure out the milk situation so I went downstairs and made friends with the concierge and he gave me a package, with great flourish, and said, “This is something like milk.” Great. I’ll take it. The coffee awaits!

Once we were ready to track down the HoHo, we were off to the races. I had scouted the area and taken screenshots of the maps while we still had WiFi. Before long, Boom- the red HoHo! We bought a 3 day ticket because a) we were going to be there that long and b) we’ve learned this can be a cheap way to move about a city, whether you still care about the narration anymore or not. 

Turns out, the HoHo stop nearest us was right in a major shopping area. Tons of shops, restaurants, theaters, etc. It reminded us so much of Barcelona. I love the European cities where everything is 100% walkable. 

We were able to get right on the bus and off we went- what a beautiful city! Before long though, we realized something. There either weren’t enough busses running OR there were too many people riding them. We would roll up to a stop with a bunch of people waiting and no one would get off. This meant no one could get on. They were told to wait for the next bus.

We did some quick thinking and decided that for day one we would simply ride the loop and not get off. Consider it like we were casing the joint. If we saw something neat, we’d come back. I’ll tell you one thing - I didn’t know statues were so big in Argentina. Not big like in size but holy crap balls there are a tons of statues. Ok, also, now that I’m saying it- there are also very large. Who among us knew this? I happened to be texting my bro who was asking what we were doing when we went by the surely famous statue commemorating the man who figured out how to get mail from Africa to Argentina. And listen, I’m not saying that isn’t cool. But is it statue cool?

We drove by the Recoleta Cemetery where Eva Peron is buried and got to hear a clip of Madonna singing Don’t Cry for Me Argentina. Took me back to my choir days. I’m certainly not suggesting that Madonna singing a version of an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical number is the quintessential Argentina experience, but it was pretty great nevertheless. 

We hopped off at the other stop that was walking distance to the hotel and we were able to navigate back with the screenshot maps I had. As we got back into the heart of the shopping area, we decided to pick a cafe to grab a drink and a bite to eat. To our delight, an older gentleman came up to play some music for us all. A great way to relax and do some people watching!

After, we meandered our way back to the hotel and conveniently it was happy hour time in the lobby bar. We enjoyed trying another Malbec- so far, I’ve liked them all and historically I’ve been very hit or miss with them so it’s a fun surprise.

The next couple of days were similar - we used the HoHo to continue exploring different parts of the city and then wandered around on our own. We chatted up our awesome concierge guys and settled on a wine bar we wanted to go to in hopes of trying a bunch of different Argentinian wines. We took an uber over to it because it was a 15 minute car ride in a new direction. Jason was able to buy a 2 day international plan on his phone because you gotta have WiFi for uber!

Man, we hit the jackpot at this wine bar!! We ended up sitting in a back part of it with an incredible knowledgeable guy. He didn’t say he was a som, but I’d sure believe it. At first, he said he could pour us what they had open but then we had so much fun, he started opening all kinds of things. We got to go down into the cellar. He showed us some olive oil they make locally. We must have been there several hours. By the end, we were all WhatsApp friends and had a case ready to ship home that our new friend Jose curated for us. As we left, he insisted we take a bottle of local olive oil, too. What a pleasure!

Our trusty concierges also recommended “the best burger” places because after so much wining and dining, we were ready to just have a nice burger. We grabbed another uber and headed over to the Four Seasons with the rich people to try out The Pony Line. This is the lobby bar and restaurant there but it is legendary and it did not disappoint. I thought our Park Tower was a cooler looking hotel- certainly with a better lobby- but the Pony Line was rad.

Our butler had been doing us right- got some laundry done (returned to us in the basket below!), many more buckets of ice, new wine glasses, daily chocolates and nuts for snacking. Once they wheeled in an entire table when we ordered room service. And then, in the most epic butlering ever, our butler Eva asked if we would like a tour by window. We had three giant windows in the suite looking out at three different areas. We went to each one and she pointed out the buildings, history and interesting facts. I remember thinking how incredible it was to have this super sharp Chinese lady explain the Argentinian history and culture to us visiting US peeps. I love these small world moments- where all those things come together at once for such a time as this.

Before we knew it, is was time to head to the airport. We weren’t able to get a late check out, unfortunately because our room was booked. We killed time trying another local Argentinian snack at the lobby bar. We’d booked a car to take us to EZE airport, which is just outside of town. 

We had a bit of a wait before we could check in at the airport and drop the bags. I think maybe 45 minutes or so. By then, lots of people were in line. It is still weird to me that most airports outside the US don’t just have agents staffed at the counters all the time. Anyway, this time we were legit flying first class and boy did that open some doors! We got to go through this Fast Track line which pretty much sent us away from everyone else to a single, old school metal detector. We breezed through that, had 1 person in line ahead of us in immigration, and then Shazam, we arrived at the lounge. 

We had plenty of time to kill so Jason went exploring in the lounge and decided to take a shower. What a treat to be able to clean up at night before the long flight. They had a full bar and tons of food- all serve yourself. We had comfy chairs to sit in. About as good as could be.

Once it was time for the flight, I was excited to see if there really would be a different in first class from business class. There was! Now, we were flying for free- using all the miles we’d been saving, as always, so I don’t know that I’d pay the thousands more for first but- here’s what else we got over business class- a larger seat with a chair that swivels over to a desk or back to lay flat. In lay flat mode - nothing on either side of it so you aren’t jammed into a little cave like in business. We had an extra course in the meal service and better wine. But the best part was…. Pajamas! The attendant came by and said, “Ma’am, would you like some pajamas?” I gasped. Well yes, I would! Next thing you know, I have a new set of gray, super soft pajamas. We also had an upgraded amenity kit. In addition to sheets and blankets, we got 3 pillows and a mattress topper. I couldn’t quite figure out what to do with all the pillows but the topper was awesome and made it so much more comfy!

The flight was supposed to be about 9 hours  and we were to land at 5 am. In a weird twist of fate, we landed an hour early, which isn’t all together helpful when you are already too early for check in!! That said, the flight was terrific. Super comfy. I slept a lot. The meal was delicious. Jason even managed a nap. 

Global entry was once again worth its weight in gold - we blew right into the country with nothing more than a short pause for a picture at the kiosk. 

More on our time in Miami to close out the trip next!

Disembarking The Majestic

 Fresh off the amazing day in Uruguay, we arrived in Buenos Aires. It was bittersweet, of course, as it would be the last port of call for us. Making it better was we planned to spend an additional 5 days there after disembarking. 

So, our last full day on the ship was useful but not all together sexy. We did laundry. We packed. We made the rounds to bless our favorite crew members as best we could. We did all the traditional things - the drink at the wake bar, the last night in Vines, etc. All things considered, it was a ‘normal day’ and that’s ok. 

I’ve written quite a bit about the need to build in ‘sea days’ or normal days when you are traveling awhile. Burnout is real. Every day cannot be the MOST EXCITING DAY EVER. Sometimes, you just need a normal day to get yourself together, rest, transition, or whatever. 

Our Malbec friends all went ashore for a great day at a cowboy ranch and got back on late. By late, I mean - 5. The horror! Slowly, everyone arrived in Vines for our last farewell. What a great group! We took some group photos, had a few rounds of cheers, talked a bit about the next one ( New England in the Fall??) and then we had to head up to the cabin to get our suitcases outside the room by 8 PM. 

It’s always the same - it goes so slowly at first that it almost drags and then POOF - it’s gone. The circle of (travel) life. In some ways, I don’t mind it. It was a great trip and another great trip will now be on deck. 

The next morning, we were a bit confused about the process because we had received a form asking when we wanted to disembark and we said 9:30. But, we got a note in our room telling us we had to leave at 7:15. 7:15 is just rude. Also, we had a note saying we had to be out of our cabin by 8. Which was neither 7:15 nor 9:30. We asked Sep, our awesome cabin steward, because a) he would know and b) the last thing we wanted to do was mess his day up! Sep said it would be find if we were out by 9. Great - 9 sounded good.

So, I woke up and went to order coffee which is exactly when I noticed they’d cut me off the app. No room service. That’s rude. How am I supposed to function without coffee? I waited for Jason to get up. He still had app access so he ordered coffee. Unfortunately, as soon as he did, the order cancelled. Dang. Truly cut off.  So, finally, I ran up to the lido deck and grabbed coffee from the buffet. The coffee up there is terrible but terrible coffee is better than no coffee.

At this point, we hadn’t eaten anything and had no way of knowing what really was going to happen once we left the ship so Jason wanted to go eat first. Normally, there are a lot of options but those of disembarking who were obviously already dead to Princess, didn’t have those options. We were able to get into the Allegro dining room and had a lovely final meal there. 

After, we simply walked right off the ship with no pomp and circumstance whatsoever. I feel like there should be an ample amount of pomp and at least some circumstance. I mean- geez. Alas, I had made a reservation for a private car to take us to our hotel but since I had no idea what time we’d actually make it off the boat, I wasn’t sure what time to book the car. Having to wait is better than missing it, so I requested the car for 10:30 and we walked off at 9:30. I will have you know, the driver walked up at exactly 10:30. He held up the sign with my name for one single second, we waved, and then we were off to the races.

As it turns out, the car ride lasted about 3 whole minutes. I’m not complaining. I didn’t want to drag all my luggage through a brand new country and city through what turned out to be the worst area of said city so a 3 minute car ride was ok with me!

Our beautiful hotel, The Park, Tower, was waiting for us. We had requested a special room since we’d be there a week, and therefore, it wasn’t quite ready when we got there early (before check in time). But, we grabbed some very comfy chairs in the lobby bar and in about 30 minutes, we had a text that the room was available. 

To our delight, our suite was gigantic - a full living area, a separate bedroom, 2 bathrooms. So much space! Jason had quite the cough so it was nice to be able to separate to sleep in the hopes that somehow we would both actually sleep. 

We decided to stay close to the hotel for this first day because we were exhausted  and therefore was plenty to entertain us right there. The hotel had this great thing where every day from 2-3 in the lobby bar they would have a local Argentinian food/snack and a drink for free. What a fun way to try some many local things. So, we went to that and had a choripan, which had been highly recommended. It had been described as a hot dog, which really wasn’t quite right. It was a piece of chorizo on bread and it was delicious, though! We had a local beer that was SO good. I almost never drink beer anymore and I really enjoyed this one.

There was also a free happy hour in the evening for …well, some people. Us included for whatever reason. So, we enjoyed trying some local white and red wine and skipped dinner.

We figured the next day, we would go find the HOHO and explore the city a bit. It was great because the MALBEC gang took a city tour that day and Ginny sent over some areas that we should definitely check out. 

With that, we closed out the 3rd part of the trip (the cruise) and started the 4th part (Argentina by land) and went to bed happy.