Gibraltar! No. Valencia! No. Malaga! again! For the first time!

 The day after Barcelona was schedule to a day at sea- and frankly, we needed some downtime after walking all of the city! Now, the night before, the captain popped onto the loudspeaker to announce that we were no longer going to Gibraltar. Despite not being too excited to go there, I was really bummed to not being able to go. For one thing, when we last passed through the straights of Gibraltar, it was between midnight and 2 am. Meaning, I didn’t experience it because I was sleeping. I was SUPER excited to see it. But, alas…it would not be. 

Now, the captain had good news- while the wind wouldn’t allow us to dock in Gibraltar, Valencia wanted us! Wow! Talk about a bonus. We were never supposed to go there. Cool!! 

So, a few hours later, Valencia changed their minds. I guess our reputation preceded us. We would not be going there. But- aha! More good news. We could now go to Malaga! Again - for the first time! Woohoo!

Cue the grumpy people in line at the shore excursion desk. Sigh. 

The crew really hustled to try to get excursions together- but it just wasn’t working to see them in the app, the computer, the big screens around the ship. We tried a little bit and then decided - who cares? We’ll just walk around! We’ve had really good luck with this- even including the missed excursion in Barcelona. 

We enjoyed our day at sea. It’s nice to have quieter, less busy days. We don’t have to jump up and get going early. You just do whatever, whenever. But on purpose. There is almost always an art auction on sea days and we love these. Oddly, my dad got me into these years ago. I say oddly, because my dad and I have always had the same view on art. We like what we like, which isn’t everything. We don’t like art museums. Unless you count us standing in the back making fun of everything. Which is pretty cool, if I’m being honest. But, for my high school graduation, I chose a cruise to Hawaii over a computer (remember when they were THAT expensive? I’m old.) on the boat day one, we heard there would be art auctions. I was surprised when my dad was like - oooh, those are great! For one, you seem to always get free Champagne. It’s fun. Have you ever been to an auction? Man! There is cool stuff that happens! Anyway, that is what started it for me.

These days, there is no art auction I don’t go to. Also, I buy art. Really, who am I? I don’t know. I’m not buying art from the classical artists. The masters. Oh, no. I buy what I like - which is actually what “they” recommend.

This brings up a great story about one of my favorite painters. His name is Michael Goddard. I first became familiar with him when I lived in Las Vegas. Makes sense because he lives in Las Vegas and he makes splashy, sexy sort of paintings - usually with olives in martini glasses. That type of thing. He’s the rock in roll guy of the painting world. 

One particular year, the Australian casino gaming company I was working for commissioned him to create the artwork for new slot machines. Imagine them in all their olive greatness. SO COOL! And, even better, he showed up at our Christmas party. With Vince Neil. And I met him. Which was SOCOOL. But the best part of the evening was, for whatever reason, my parents were in town and I asked if I could bring them and was told yes. So, we went to enter the party and all the sudden, they had to sign in and there was a column asking what casino they were from. In a panic, one casino came to mind. The funniest name I’d ever heard (no disrespect to any tribe- I’m just a 12 year old boy inside). Ho Chunk. That was the night I escorted two members of Ho Chunk around and met Michael Goddard. 

Flash forward a few years (plus 10. Plus more). We go on our first sabbatical and take a 31 day cruise. I see the art auctions and to Jason’s shock, I said, “we have to go to those!” And we did. Every single one. And, the day we arrived to auction #1, I see Michael Goddard art. WHAT??? I didn’t expect to buy art. Or even like art. But, there we were, a captive audience in the South Pacific. Buying art.

Flash forward 5 more year. Somehow, I’m on a cruise across the Atlantic on another long sabbatical cruise. And, AND, this time, inexplicably, I own an olive ranch. And Jason works in a wine cellar making wine. Oh, did I mention that Michael Goddard’s other main figure in paintings beyond the olive is…a grape? WHAT?

Needless to say, I love this artist.Take my money.

But, back on track here - we arrived in Malaga sometime while we were sleeping. Oh, this reminds me. Our room can’t get cool enough. We’ve been trying to figure out a way to be comfy sleeping when it is always 70 some degrees and we have a down comforter on the dang bed. Who came up with the idea of that? And why did every hotel, cruise ship and whatever offering a bed decide to follow? A) it is hard to clean. Have you ever washed a duck? Or is it a goose? Who cares? You can’t wash water fowl. And b) it is hot as hell. This is only appropriate 3% of the time and I’m not traveling on those days. Anyway, we have started sleeping with our balcony door left wide open. This provides a tremendous, cool breeze. So much so that one night we ordered wine to the room and when I attempted to open the door, the entire tray of stuff, minus the wine glasses, blew off and littered the hallway. HAHAHAH. I said - one moment please…slammed the door in her face (as though there was any way I could control it), ran back to close the slider, ran back and opened the main door again. And we both burst into laughter.

This is also when I began having nightly nightmares of rats crawling up the ship walls and into our room. But, I digress.

Our plan for Malaga was the new usual- walk off. Walk around. Get lost. Eat, drink. Walk back before the boat leaves. Bam. 

As we walked off, there was a hop on hop off bus right there waiting. We briefly considered it. But the town seemed small ish. Walkable. So very not Barcelona. On we walked. It was about 10 am and the city was almost, just barely, waking up. Imagine any city in North America on a work day at 10 am. Everything would be open. Nothing here was open. Even some coffee shops were just opening up! Clearly, I was not born to be a Spanish person. I’m living the wrong time of the day.

We quickly got into town and followed our eyes through garden after garden. We were inspired with ideas for our front yard back home - citrus trees, wild flowers, a small fountain. So beautiful. 

We made our way around into the bustling alleys and cobblestone streets with the restaurants and bars. This is now forever sealed in my mind as a quintessential Spanish city vibe. I LOVE IT. Sort of spur of the moment, we decided to go to the Picasso museum. Why not! (Unless it was too expensive - which it wasn’t at 12 euro for the entire museum, special collections and all).

After, we set out to find a place for tapas and wine. This became oddly difficult because nothing was open yet for lunch…at almost 12 noon. And, what was open were the bars (I’m pro-bar, don’t get me wrong) but they had the most uncomfortable looking seating you can imagine, and I was planning to sit there for hours. This mattered. We went round and round. Past the same homeless dog three times (I love him.)figured out the streets, revisited the menus. Finally picked one and as we were sitting, we were told they weren’t doing food that day. Well. Ok. Round and round we went again.

Finally, we found a place! When the waiter came, I asked about local wine and he apologized and said he didn’t speak a lot of English. Well! I’ve trained my whole life for this - I happen to know Spanish. 

In a split second of time, my brain did this really marvelous thing. Like seriously, fist bump to my brain. First, it went straight back to Senora Falk’s 10th grade Spanish class when she taught us how to “circumnavigate” language. The idea is you will get into a conversation and not know how to say what you need to say. But, what CAN you say? How can you circumnavigate around to it? Honestly, I’ve learned a lot of great things in my studies- through two master’s degrees…but this is one of the best. Back to the tapas restaurant in Malaga. Do I know how to say, “What wines do you have from this region?” Well, nothing came to mind. What did come to mind was, “what wines are near to here?” Did that work? Heck yes it did. BAM. GRACIAS, SENORA FALK! 

We ordered up our tapas, cracked open our wines that were near to here and enjoyed sitting in a quieter alley in Malaga Spain on a cloudy day. What’s not to love??

After, we started to meander back toward the boat, because I’d seen another bodega near the water I wanted to visit. We passed by an amazing cathedral just at the right time when the bells started to ring. We enjoyed more local wine near the water before walking back to the boat. A wonderful day in Malaga. A beautiful, clean, charming little city on the south coast of Spain. Highly recommend!

We were pretty tired back on boat and didn’t want to risk another 2 hour dinner in the dining room so we, hilariously, ordered 2 hot dogs to the room for dinner. They showed up just that - hot dogs and buns. No condiments. No nothing else. Well then. Ok!

Today was a sea day. Another quiet day to attend the art auction, relax. Catch up on writing. Not hustle. This is the last one for awhile. Tomorrow we hit France, then immediately off to Italy and we’re really off to the races from there. I’m looking forward to every minute of it.

But first, we have another wine maker dinner tonight. I think half the crowd are our usual group of friends. We’ll see who else we’ll get to meet! Pray for my liver. 

Barcelona, Sort of

 The next day, we were up and bright and early for our secret food tour in Barcelona. Now, had some issues from the get go. The first one was it said the time of the tour was 30 minutes after the boat docks. Well, the boat docked at 5 am and I was pretty sure that 5:30 wasn’t going to be the start time. This doesn’t, of course, help us know what the start time is and this was another American Airlines excursion so there wasn’t anyone to ask. So, we did what anyone would do which is guess that it was probably 9:30. We picked this because a) usually the boat docks around 7 so it wouldn’t be before then. And b) nothing in Spain opens before 9. So. There you have it.

That said, we walked off the boat at whatever time. Somehow, we seemed unconcerned at this point. We decided to walk out off the pier after consulting a map that estimated the walking time to be about 18 minutes. Well, about an hour later we made it out of the port after having to turn around and backtrack when some kind soul let us know you couldn’t actually get out that way. Cool. We were over 10,000 steps by the time we walked on a sort of pedestrian friendly bridge over the ocean. In the rain. W00t!

Now, we fell into our second problem which was the directions that AA listed for how to find the tour meeting spot. We were fresh off the subpar directions in Mallorca, so we tried to be smart. Again. But still, no google. It’s amazing how helpful looking at actual directions is! Ha!

So, we followed the directions for another hour, which is to say nothing in our directions matched what was on the paper so we just made it up and kept walking. That was pretty great. We saw all kinds of things- beautiful architecture, yachts, the city, people out walking, dogs…and also quite inexplicably, an enormous statue of a prawn. No joke, that weird thing must have been 20 feet in the air. We saw it coming for like…the entire sail across the Atlantic. I kept saying, “What could that possibly be?” At times it looked like the brown Gumby. Other times it looked like a skinny Chewbacca. Imagine my surprise at it being a large shrimp.

Anyway, after clearing that up, we crossed the street and continued to get nowhere, and not even fast. Finally, we decided to hop in a cab. So, we go over to one and I show him our stupid instructions and he says, “no.” This is an unwanted theme in my life really. My inability to have a cab take me places. So, we converse in broken Spanish. Well, I did. His was quite good. He said it was close. I said how close - how much walking time? He said 5 minutes- to the derecho. I slapped him in the arm and gasped, “No!” He said, “yes!” And then I got out of the cab. 

So, we walked about 5 minutes to the derecho (the right) and found ourselves back with the damn Shrimp who was clearly mocking us with his stupid face. Jason sat down to see if there was any free city WiFi…if so, we could use google maps to try to get somewhere. And, viola! We were only a few blocks away, by a sheer miracle. So, we busted a move over to the Placa de Angel, which sounds like a heavenly garden, but was actually a very busy city corner with a subway stop.

Thus began problem 3 which was mostly that we were now in the right spot but we didn’t know if the tour had already left. And there was no way to know. So we did what one does in such a situation. We stood around. We looked this way. Then that way. We discussed this issue which in no way resolved anything. We realized it was now 11:30, which is neither 5:30 nor 9:30. Jason tried to call the number on the ticket. Nothing happened. So, we finally just meandered away in a slightly dejected, slightly confused, sort of way. That lasted about 3 minutes and then we were revived by the thought that we can still eat and drink in Barcelona all day! And maybe get a refund on the busted tour. 

Barcelona is such a fun city! There is all the architecture. The little alleys. The side streets bursting with tiny little cafes, tapas restaurants, bars, shops, hair salons…everything! We just got lost an meandered up and down, around and through. We were starting to get pretty hungry…now up to 20,000 steps. So, my internal compass that has never presented itself before that moment fired up and I said let’s go over here to Las Ramblas, the big main drag through town, and sit and eat and drink and people watch. Then, we’d know how to find the ship again when we were done. 

So, we did! Now, it was slightly drizzling all day and everyone was smoking like a house on fire so we ended up sitting inside a place rather than on the patio outside. We were the only people inside and we could see outside to the dreamy, raining, busy street scenes which looked exactly like every painting of such a thing you’ve ever seen.

We got a tapas platter to share, a great bottle of wine, and he brought us tomato bread and garlic bread. Neither was what we expected. Both were delicious. Our breath on the other hand- not delicious. 

Once done, we started the very long walk back to the boat which was thankfully right where we left it 28,000 steps ago. 

Back on ship, we decided to do dinner in the dining room. We almost always do this. However, part of the crew turned over that day in Barcelona (in addition to 1500 people disembarking). And, let’s say the new crew weren’t quite in sync yet. Dinner is usually a well oiled machine. That night, it took 2 hours. I was about to have to tape my eyeballs open. We were so tired after that, we couldn’t even get a night cap! Well, that’s only sort of true. Ok, that’s not true at all. What is true is that we didn’t hang out in Vines. We just grabbed a bottle from our man James and went to the room. 

We are glad we get 4 days in Barcelona on the way back. There is much to see and explore and we will have a hotel and- maybe- access to google maps then!

Oh- btw- we saw Kelly and Helaine on the street in Barcelona! We weren’t robbed or squirted with mustard or thrown a baby by the damned Chilean pickpockets, but it was comforting to see them on the streets just in case. 

The Damned Chilean Pickpockets and the Caves of Drach

 DAY 2 in Mallorca, we have an excursion to the “caves of drach”. I don’t really know what this is, but the name was so cool I couldn’t NOT book it. You know what I’m saying. 

We booked this excursion through American Airlines Cruises, which has been our secret for years to racking up a gazillion miles. They have tons of excursions and often at a smaller price and with a smaller crowd. Good, yes? 

Well, we’re learning some reasons why we should have just booked through Princess this time for excursions. In this instance, we got the “ticket’ from AA and it had directions to the pick up place. When you come in to port on a boat, it is very hard to tell  where you actually are. I mean, you literally can’t see the shore, the city, the walking path…whatever…sometimes from your view on the boat. So, you have to make a quick decision. Do we just blindly walk out? Or, do we pay to go somewhere? 

Now, in this case, we’d been into town the day before so we weren’t totally stupid. So, we walked off the boat and over to the taxi stand and tried to make sense of the walking directions on our ticket. We looked at the map on the bus stop. We stood there and looked around. Nothing made sense. Finally, we realized there wasn’t a good way to figure it out (and please remember we have no WiFi off boat, so we can’t google it) so we decided to take a cab. We walked over to the taxi line and showed the instructions to the next cab driver in line. He looked. He pondered. He asked another cabi. And then he said, “no.” Ok cool. Apparently, the meeting spot was, “just right there” (gestures to a 15 story building in the distance). 

After another moment or two, we agreed that we would take the cab even though it was a short distance because we just needed to know we could get to the right spot in time. Off we went on about a 10 minute ride which cost us 8 euro. It was hilarious when we got out of the cab because we were right in front of a Tony Romas, the subpar American rib chain. Of all the places- why?? Ha! We had a few minutes so we popped into a little Spanish cafe staffed by an Asian family and Jason had a fabulous cup of coffee while we waited for the bus.

The bus arrived right on time but half the passengers did not so unfortunately, we ended up sitting on the bus for over an hour before everyone was accounted for and then the drive was an additional hour. The countryside was absolutely beautiful- chock full of lemons, oranges, olives, vineyards, sheep…it looked so untouched and perfect!

When we got to the entrance for the caves of drach, there were quite a few other tour buses and personal vehicles in the large parking lot. Everything has been so empty- I was hoping it wouldn’t be crowded in the cave. We were told it would take about an hour and to meet up with the bus when we were done. Ok, easy enough. And with that, we began descending down the stairs into the cave.

Almost immediately, we were in stalactites and stalagmites central! Holy cow! The cave was mostly an easy walk- decently wide pathways. Lots of stairs. No “easy” route. There were staff members frequently throughout who just quietly stood and observed. Everyone proceeded at their own pace and there was no talking or guide, per se.

Almost at the end, we came into a large section of the cave that had a small grouping of benches. We quietly all found a seat and waited. After a moment, a staffer came onto the mic and made a short announcement in 5 languages (Spanish, English, French, German, and possibly Italian). Basically, we were asked to stay seated and not to take any pictures or video.

Then, the lights all went out. The cave was dark and entirely silent. And then, from what felt like way far away, we started to see a tiny amount of light. And could begin to detect music. For the next 10 minutes, one of the most amazing things I’ve ever seen and heard happened. Slowly, a row boat lit up with white lights, eased through the lake in the cave. Seated in it were 5 musicians playing classical music. 2 additional row boats followed just adding a little more light. The boats rowed silently passed us and eventually turned and came back for one more pass. Each part of the cave they rowed through came alive with music and lights- both just bouncing off the little nooks and crannies in the most magical of ways. I think my mouth just hung open the entire time and a few tears slid down my cheeks because it was just entirely magical.

After, we got to choose to take a boat out or walk. We wanted to take the boat initially, but we realized that was going to take a long time because everyone wanted to do that and there were 2 boats and neither was big. So, we walked out, which is to say UP out of the cave. Whew! 

We had about 20 minutes before we needed to meet the bus and we were starving so Jason grabbed us a sandwich to share and a glass of some local red wine. The sandwich was clearly fresh baked “French” bread, prosciutto, and olive oil to drizzle over like a condiment. That’s it. And, it was so incredibly tasty. The wine was delicious, as well. I was ready for the long ride back and a chance to maybe take a little nap!

Our bus guide also spoke 4-5 languages and everything he said required repeating in all the languages. It was a nice refresh for my brain on my Spanish and German. As we raced back, trying to make up time because we were running late, the guide sprung into action and found a way to dump off the passengers who were all late in the morning at a different spot. He thought that would shave off time. We knew we were still going to be hours ahead of the onboard call time so we weren’t nervous but we were ready to get off the bus!  2 stops before ours, our guide stood up, shouted goodbye, and hopped off. Well. That was weird! And, we didn’t get to tip him! Anyone who has to speak 4-5 languages all day long deserves a tip. 

We walked back to the ship. We realized why we didn’t think it was doable to walk in the morning - mostly because there was no sidewalks and you had to cross a bridge and a roundabout. But, it wasn’t too crowded so we made our way and it only took 10-15 minutes. 

We were meeting the crew at 7 for drinks before dinner at 8 so I thought I had time to do a load of laundry. The machines are like large, commercial appliances so I decided we could do one massive load. Well. The dryer disagreed. I had to run everything through twice, which was annoying to me but even more annoying to the ladies all waiting on dryers. And, a pair of my underwear decided this was a great moment to unravel itself and tie everything else into a series of bizarre knots. I really enjoyed untying everything with my underwear strings in front of a crowd of grumpy women. But, I am known for always having a good time, right? 

Fresh off the underwear debacle, I was back in the room before really noticing that Jason’s jeans, khaki pants and socks were actually not really dry. And, of course, the grumpy women were now using the dryers. Oops. I was sure hoping he had another pair of pants to wear to dinner that night. Turns out, he decided to try a new way to stay cool and he wore the damp khakis. Ha!

So, we get down to Vines and Richard and Siobhan rolled in. Shortly after, Debbie and Mike arrived- they are another Irish couple who have a home in California south of us and in Lake Como, Italy. And then, an English couple arrived to round out the group. We hadn’t met them yet, but I’m so glad we did. So, everyone else was “club class” meaning they were staying in a suite or have a high elite status on Princess, so they have access to a private dining room. They got clearance for us riff raff to go along with them. Interesting, it is the same as the main dining room menus, with a bonus option every night. 

This group had me in absolute hysterics. I thoroughly love Irish and Bristish senses of humor. So dry and witty. One zinger after another. Plus, their natural phrases and timing gets me every time. I just laughed my head off the entire evening. One really funny thing is Siobhan realized she had been calling Jason the wrong name the day before. Somehow, we didn’t notice this. Apparently, she called him Jimmy. Or Justin. Or random J names. So, now she was just going to keep calling him Jimmy (Jim-uh with the Irish accent). 

Afterward, a nightcap in Vines was called for so we all meandered over. At this point, I was dead tired so after a few moments, I was ready to leave. I gave Richard and Siobhan huge hugs. So sad to see them go already! Hopefully, our travels will reunite us next year somewhere in the world. 

Oh wait - while we were in Vines, Kelly and Helaine showed up for their night caps. This is the couple from Mexico. Ok, they aren’t from there but they are currently retired(ish) and living there. In their words, she is a “new York Jew” and he is, “mostly from Miami.” Anyway, the guys got into a rowdy conversation about protecting ourselves from the “damned Chilean pickpockets” who, not only pick your pockets, but also squirt mustard on you or throw babies at you. Frankly, at this point, I hope I see a damned Chilean pickpocket because that sounds like a really good story to tell!! Anyway, Kelly let Jason know how to beat up a damned Chilean pickpocket and then offered to help. This is a dude in his later 70s, probably. Not someone you would think would want to get into a street brawl. But, hey, if it happens and we need a gang, we’ll take it. 

At the end, I said, “Sorry, we have to go. We’re worn out.” This is funny to say as the youngest people by 2 decades. Anyway. Kelly yells out, “You need to get a man who can last longer.” I said, “Where can I find one?” His wife, Helaine, with all the New York Jewish accent you can imagine, screams out, “I wouldn’t know!!!”

Oh, my stomach hurts from the laughing. 

Mallorca by carriage with the Irish

 So, at 10:30 the first day in Mallorca, we rolled into Vines with our wine glasses to return. About 5 minutes later, Richard and Siobhan arrived and announced they’d just woken up about 20 minutes prior! HA! So, we grabbed a seat so they could chug a cup of coffee first like proper, civilized people do. And then, we were off! 

We took the cruise sponsored bus ride to city center. It was about 10 euro each round trip. And by about I mean that’s exactly what it was. Siobhan is a fast walker and a fast payer and darn if she didn’t buy our tickets before we had even gotten to the ticket table! So nice. 

We sat in the back seats of the bus, like the cool kids do. A short ride later, we were dropped aside the marina which was chock full of gorgeous boats of all sizes. Richard had been here many, many years before and told us that in season, this town is awash with tourists and the restaurants and bars are hopping. For this day, though, it was pretty quiet and we were all just fine with that!

We started walking towards the awesome palace and cathedral. We had quite a bit of stairs to walk to get up to them both. Richard had two knee replacements so he was a trooper for that walk, but I’m sure that was a tough climb!! Unlike the US, where there always seem to be accommodation routes or possibilities, here, you could take the stairs or you could just look from below. This is not me thinking the US is better. While I appreciate accommodating disabilities, of course, I also appreciate leaving places untouched, if you will. 

Anyway, while we were taking pictures, Richard wandered off and next thing you know, here he comes riding up in a horse drawn carriage! He talked the driver into giving us an hour tour of the city and he picked up the tab. Man! These guys were so generous. 

So, we were off on a carriage ride through the cutest, oldest, charming little Spanish city- complete with tiny alleys, cobblestones, twisty windy side streets and even a bustling modern city center somewhere in there for good measure. What a delightful treat. Our driver would periodically stop to point something out to us. We all just loved it. This little island is floating off shore of mainland Spain and is apparently quite the tourist spot for Europeans, especially Germans for some reason. While I was cloudy again, I appreciated the cooler temps. I would have liked a peak of sunshine to see the city and the sea in all its colors, but maybe another time. 

After, we were ready to eat! We found this perfect little cafe and we sat for hours enjoying delicious food and 3 bottles of wine! I hate to brag, but I’m killing this European thing. Nailed it! We had great conversations with them- laughing our heads off and getting to know each other. I always love this part of life but after 2 years of COVID, it’s pretty freakin’ great. 

After our very European lunch, we were ready to meander back to the ship and have a siesta. We briefly considered staying out longer but since we had 2 days in Mallorca, we headed on back. I mean, we don’t want to be rushed or busy. We’re trying to relax here!!!

Later, we all ran into each other in Vines again and made plans to have one final dinner together the next night. Man! We are so bummed they are getting off the ship this soon. We popped into the show that night before bed because the entertainer is a popular British tv actor and broadway star. I enjoyed the music!

A little bit of Spain. But not all of Spain.

 So, we woke up in Cadiz, Spain! We ordered breakfast room service because we didn’t want to wake up any earlier to go to the dining room. It arrived right on time and we gulped it down. We are doing a good job observing our cruising rules to not gaining weight. There are primarily two rules: always take the stairs and eat a ton of fruit and veggies every day. 

The stairs trick is legit because our room is on 12, the dining room is on 6, the pool is on 16 and the bars are 5, 6, or 7. We’re pretty much running up and down all day. The other day I think we hit 125 flights of stairs just that day. Whew! 

Anyway, we were soon walking off the boat in Cadiz! We booked an excursion to see the town and do a sherry tasting at a very famous winery, Sandeman. The bus tours can be quite the…duel with patience. Everyone is slow. Several people are always very grumpy if not flat rude. It’s not my favorite way to tour but sometimes it checks all the boxes.

The town was really nice- a beautiful city with tons of history. It was a cloudy day and in an area known for 300+ days of sunshine, the locals were thrilled with the chance for a drizzle and we weren’t too upset either!

The sherry tour was really well done. A man explained the entire process of making the kinds of sherry they produced. The winery was really nice with beautiful paintings of the wine making process, writings, pictures, etc. It was pretty hard to hear at times because our tour guide was soft spoken and the winery was very large. We might have missed a few things, but it was still a great visit.

At the end, we sat in a large room and got to have three tastes. A light, dry sherry, an amber sherry (not too sweet) and then we got to pick our 3rd and I went with the brandy. Our table mates were awesome. We had a couple from LA whose daughter and son-in-law are cruisers with a nice boat in Marina del Ray. And another couple from Indiana. That gentleman used to work for McDonnell Douglas and Boeing in St. Louis! I’ve somehow already forgotten what area he worked in, but not the same as my dad. At one point, we were all telling stories about our dogs and sharing photos of them. Humanity! 

As we were getting up to leave, Richard, our Irish buddy, came up to find us because he said he was sitting with someone at his table who said they were our neighbor! We went to meet her- a sweet older lady who, sure enough, lives in Atascadero which is the town just to the south of Paso. She’s very into wine so we enjoyed meeting her and telling her about Nicora. 

After, we were back on the bus heading back into town. Our bus tour guide did such a great job telling us about the tremendous fishing industry in Cadiz that we knew we needed to walk around and find a spot for some great lunch and wine. We strolled past a lot of places trying to figure it all out. There is such a country specific culture with restaurants that you don’t realize until you’re in another country. Do we just walk in and sit down? Do we wait to be seated? Will anyone speak English? How big are the portions? Some places seemed to only serve coffee. Some only wine. Some both. 

After a bit, I found a place that looked really promising and I could read some of the menu! We went in and the owner was terrific- very patient. Spoke enough English to fill in the gaps. Helped us pick out some tuna, ham croquettes, foie  gras, chicken. All tapas- so small plates. Just a couple of bites each. We asked about wine and he said, “local wine?” So we said, “YES!” And man did he hook us up! I took photos of the bottles because I knew I’d never remember by end of trip. So, there we sat, feeling quite European with our ridiculously delicious tapas and local wines. The people watching was great. Another very clean, respectful, vibrant, bustling yet not really crowded place. 

We do continue to be surprised by how many people here smoke. There are so few smokers in Paso I could probably forget people do it! 

COVID-wise, everyone wears a mask when inside. No one wears one outside. On the ship, the crew are all wearing the very high end KN-95 masks all day, every day. I feel bad for their faces! Masks are optional for guests and people do whatever works for them with zero issues. We always have ours but generally are not wearing them unless we’re in a crowded area or near someone hacking up a lung. The boat cleaning crew is off the charts. You can swing a cat without hitting someone wiping down every surface. We’re just making sure we wash our hands a lot, using sanitizer after holding the hand rails on the stairs, and generally trying to not be all up in other people’s faces. So far, so good.

The next morning, we were up drinking coffee in our room and the captain came on the loudspeaker. We knew something was up because a) we NEVER hear announcements in the cabin- they protect that and b) it was 6:30 AM. Turns out, the wind was blowing like heck to the point that even with extra tugboats, there was no way our boat was going to be able to swing into port. There would be no visit to Malaga! Poop! He warned that with this type of weather, we might miss another port or two. They were doing everything they could, and would keep us posted.

Now, we both immediately felt so bad for the crew! They’d already dealt with us for 7 straight days at sea! Imagine how annoying people had probably gotten!! And now they were stuck again with us AND we could just imagine them all scrambling in that very moment to come up with things for 1200 people to do all day!! 

By 10:00, we had a completely new “princess patter”, which is our daily listing of activities. The amazing crew and thrown together a whole slew of things to keep people moving and grooving. We didn’t do any of those- we were wanting to sit outside by the pool but according to the captain, doing so might blow you right into the Mediterranean, so we decided to stay inside. What we did do was try to be extra nice to the beleaguered crew who really appreciated it. 

A bit later in the afternoon, the captain came back on the speaker with the bad news - no way we’d make it to Cartagena either:( Poop! But then he said - now for the good news! He was able to negotiate for us to arrive in Mallorca a day early and stay over night. Woohoo!! This was a big task because all the cruise ships are in the same, ahem, boat. So, getting one of the spots was a big deal. High five, captain! 

Now, of course, no one had an excursion planned because we didn’t know we’d be there. Imagine the poor shore excursion crew! Whew! We decided we would just roam around. We were sitting in Vines drinking a bunch of French wine and we saw our Irish buddies come in. We decided to ask if they wanted to meet up for lunch or dinner in town the next day. They seemed flattered and accepted right away. Sweet! 

With that, we meandered down to dinner. Our latest routine is to hit up James in Vines before we go to the room and he’ll let us sneak the good glasses and good wine up. They will deliver wine to your room, but the menus are all different for every place, including room service, and we’ve had them all by now and have ruled them out. 

We were excited for our Mallorca walking adventures the next day with Richard and Siobhan. 

Portugal! Absolutely gorgeous and delicious!

 Well, I’ve been to Portugal! We docked just fine and it was a bit cloudy with the tiniest of drizzle at first, but it actually cleared up mostly by the time we walked onto dry land. I have to say, it felt good to have feet on the ground again. In order to disembark, Portugal asked us all to complete a form the day prior where we listed our dates of vaccinations, including the booster. It had to be in a certain number of days…something like 270 OR you had to have the booster in order to go ashore. No problem for us.

We didn’t have a tour booked because nothing really appealed, so we just strolled off after breakfast and took the shuttle bus to the center of town to walk around. We saw our buddy Kelly on the bus- he’s trying to start a new business and was eager for WiFi to send some much delayed paperwork. 

The first views of the city- WOW! So pretty. Clean- so very clean. Gorgeous titled or cobblestone streets. Insane gardens, trees, flowers, paintings, sculptures all around. Every direction I turned was absolutely lovely. This area is known for their cork trees and, oddly, embroidery. Ok! Also, Madeira wine…which we were for sure going to taste.

We walked around and just enjoyed the beautiful city. Our British buddy, Glenn, had warned us that everything would be closed because it was Sunday. He was right. I mean, some touristy things were open and some restaurants but all the little stores were closed. We had decided we needed to buy wine glasses because (can’t remember if I mentioned this) the ones on the boat are complete crap. Meaning, they are tiny. Like 3 ounces. And so…well, tiny, that you can’t possibly swirl the dang wine. Anyway, no glasses could be found on this day. Oh well.

After a good, long walk, we decided to plop down in an adorable cafe called The Ritz and enjoy some Madeira wine and some WiFi. The waiters all spoke pretty good English, which was helpful in figuring out which Madeira we wanted to try. I speak Portuguese but not wine Portuguese. We decided to go with a 5 year and a 10 year and we shared. We wanted the 15 year but our waiter said the 15 years were sweet. Nope. 

We were having such a great time people watching, Madeira sipping, and WiFi browsing that we sat there long enough to want some food. Also, this was helped by us not being able to figure out how to get the check. But, whatever. So, we ordered some tomato bruschetta and some mushroom bruschetta. Holy cow- it was so amazing that my mouth nearly died. I don’t know what this crap we call bruschetta in the US is, but it no longer deserves to be called as such. Freshly off that tasty treat, we finally got the check, paid out in euros, and left for another walk.

By the way, our new Irish friends told us to head straight to a large bank ATM on land to get euros. We got a great exchange rate and our bank will refund ATM fees - so this was a win. Also, their ATMs knew we spoke English just from reading our card. I found this funny because we have to select our language in our own dang country but not in a foreign country. Ha. 

Things seem quite cheap to us here. This doesn’t mean they are- perhaps our we live in wine country in California selves don’t quite see pricing accurately. We normally pay more than $100 for lunch with drinks. This was about half that.

Anyway, I found a lovely lady sitting in a garden working on embroidery and I bought two kitchen towels from her. I love buying kitchen towels and Christmas ornaments when I travel because they are things I get to use periodically and get reminded of the places I’ve been. 

We took the bus back to the port and then walked back out along the sea to check out some more shops and things that were open for us touristas. We found another lovely seafront cafe so we sat there for a bit and took the waiter’s recommendation of a medium bodied, dry, white Portuguese wine and it was just delicious. 

I went to use the bathroom and found the most hilarious doorknobs ever. They were an actual (I mean not a real one) human hand that you had to grab and turn. It was so weird!! So weird in fact that I grabbed the wrong one and walked right into the men’s room. So, that was cool. 

After another hour or so of people watching, dog watching, general hang out time in Portugal, we decided to walk back to the ship. 

I love days like this. I don’t need much entertainment, if any. I enjoy walking a city. Talking with locals. Eating the local food and drinking the local wine. It was perfect. A delightful city that I would happily visit again if given the chance. 

The next day, we had a sea day again. My brain can’t figure out why because a) it’s stupid and b) we don’t have google. Portugal is attached to Spain so my brain wants to think that we can leave Funchal Portugal one night and arrive at Cadiz Spain the next morning. But no. And, even more odd (to me) we went way out to sea to the point we couldn’t see any land. I guess we just went out and hung out. Whatever!

So, we rallied all our friends for the Nicora wine tasting at 4 in our favorite wine bar, Vines. Jason had told our main man, James, about it in advance so we didn’t overwhelm them. Everyone showed up and we shared the Euphoric and Buxom. Man- was that ever a hit! Everyone is still talking about it. They asked a lot of questions and just really enjoyed hearing about Nick, Nicora, and wine making. The only downside was that the rest of the wine we had afterward tasted terrible! 

Aside from th Nicora tasting, which was for sure the highlight of the sea day, we did a load of laundry and chilled out some by the pool. Laundry is interesting. Here on the boat, we can do a week of laundry in one load. At home, we are doing like 9 loads a week. What is wrong with us? You can live simply if you try! 

We went to bed early ish because our first day in Spain was to start early the next morning with a 7:30 am appointment to disembark. I always go to bed early at home, but the 7 days in a row of day light savings has changed me, apparently, and now I stay up till 10-11 and wake up at 7-8. I don’t even know who I am anymore. This is the European me. 

The Mysterious Wine Dinner

 Well, last night was the infamous and mysterious wine dinner and it was worth the wait! There were only 12 of us and we became fast friends. We had a couple from Ireland, a couple from Mexico, a couple from New Mexico, and three couples from California. 

The dinner was hosted inside one of the main dining rooms in a private circular area of the room. The food was very, very good. The final course was a filet mignon that was prize worthy. There was also a gnocchi dish with Asiago cheese that might possibly be the best thing I’ve ever eaten. The wine pairings were interesting in that we thought it was a wine dinner paired with Silverado wines (A Napa Winery) but it was actually just one Silverado one, a Cabernet, at the end and a variety of other wines. Which was just fine with us. The first was a pouilly-fuse from France and I really liked it. 

I am a bit bummed there is no sommelier on board. I just assumed there would be. We were so spoiled by JoJo our som on the Holland America cruise to Australia. I was hoping to learn a ton about European wines while on boat. The head waiters are doing a good job - they have a good deal of knowledge- but it isn’t quite as in depth.

Anyway, with the wine dinner last night, we have found ourselves some people! Wine people usually do get a long and we all sure did. We went to the wine bar afterwards and had another glass of wine with the whole crew afterward. Vines, the wine bar, is the only place on board that serves red in a decent sized glass. The other places are giving out these tiny little glasses that you couldn’t swirl a single drop in without blowing it out all over the counter. Our main dude, James, is the bartender there and he hooks us up. He also once gave us what felt like an entire glass of gin at 11 am- which wasn’t really the hook up we wanted, but it’s the one we got;)  

Our new friends are all older couples, of course. They shortest amount of time married, other than us, was 32 years!! We had a 54 and a 52 year marriage in there, too. So great to see couples able to stay together and still having so much fun after all that time. 

Today, was the Super Tuscan wine tasting lunch. As Jason said last night, “I’d like to find the person who thought these two events should be back to back and punch him in the face.” A day or two separation would have been nice! Anyway, there were 70 of us in this one so it was much more crowded. We all met up and attempted to sit together but we were at the end of the line and there weren’t any more big tables so we all had to split up. We’ll find them again later and will open a Nicora for them from the stash we brought with us. They were all very familiar with Paso wines and big fans so we feel confident they will like it. 

We missed the St. Patrick’s celebration because the wine dinner went so long, but we’d heard some live Irish music earlier in the day. Also a Rasta band. Not sure how that factors into St. Paddy’s day, but we enjoyed it nonetheless. It is funny sometimes on a boat with mostly decades older people because they are unfamiliar with a lot of “current” culture and music and don’t play along. During the Rasta band, the lead singer said wave your hand if you’ve heard of Bob Marley and literally no hand moved. Ha!! It does make me question some of the choices- like today the mid day movie is Rocky Horror Picture Show and I’m pretty sure no one went because it started at 2, I walked in at 3 and no one was there and it wasn’t playing. I mean. You gotta read the room here. 

We’ve got one more full day of sailing tomorrow before we hit land for the first time in a week. Days at sea are really great because you really don’t have a choice in unwinding. You can’t get off the boat. There are only so many things to do. You have to learn to make peace with it and fill the time. I like to have open periods of nothing really. Yesterday, the sun was out in the afternoon so we sat by the pool for a couple of hours just hanging out. This is how we saw the Rasta band. I don’t have to be, nor do I want to be, constantly entertained. It’s nice to have the space to think thoughts. Or think nothing. I don’t have that in my normal life. 

Anyway, we have nothing booked yet (still) in Portugal. From what we can tell, we’re coming into multiple days of rain. Hopefully it isn’t just a major downpour the whole time. I know we’ve got several walking tours planned. Either way, I get to see a bunch of places I’ve never seen and I can’t wait! 

The internet continues to be really spotty. As in most spots, there is no internet. But, I was able to get the most important message which was that my brother’s heart surgery was complete, he was ok, and then finally that he was released. Woohoo!! 

Day Light Savings For Days

 It is now St. Patrick;s day. I’ve completely given up on trying to know what time it is. So, the clock moves forward an hour every day at noon. And while you might think this is pretty simple to grasp, I assure you, it is not. One thing is- there is never a noon. At noon, it is immediately 1. That’s messed up. Also, our phones are on airplane mode so they can’t keep up with the time. So everyday we have to try to remember how many hours off the phone is. And, because it happens at noon each day, you spend the first part of the day understanding one time and then the second half trying to adjust to a new time. My brain has died. 

The seas continue to be very calm. I wasn’t sure what to expect about a transatlantic crossing, but this exceeds expectations! I’m keeping up some with the Dramamine because you have to stay ahead of it. I’m not messing around here. 

We’re meeting some people now. Usually when we’re sitting at dinner. We always have our own table, but we’re seated close enough to chat. I have to say, being wine maker/olive growers never seems to bore anyone. The other night at dinner, half the wait staff was gathered around Jason talking. This started with us sending back our wine. We never send anything back- ever. But this was truly awful. Jason told the steward that the wine was corked. Thus it began.

One thing we’re realizing is that this cruise we’re on is really at least 3 cruises. We thought it was just two. When we get to Barcelona in a week, people will get off and new ones on. We’re excited about that mostly because we’d love to meet people from Barcelona and become friends before we end up there with days to spend in a month. This happened on our last cruise in Australia and it was such a delight! Also, perhaps some younger people will come onboard because the cruise lengths will be shorter.  We shall see.

The staff on board are terrific. Excellent memories. Shoot, there is already one guy, Ivan, who works in the art gallery, who might now be naming his first child Rachel. Bam! 

Yesterday, we got wild and went to bingo. On the first game, I won and didn’t know it. Jason called bingo and didn’t have it. The next game, I played the wrong card. Jason got bingo (for real this time) and scored $125 bucks. The 4th game I had to play the card I’d already played which was truly more effort than I was wanting to make. We are both not good at bingo and also quite good at bingo, depending on how you want to view it.

We watched a Hans Zimmer concert on the huge projector by the pool in the late afternoon and got some sun. It’s oddly easy to spend a lot of time inside and not notice somehow. The fresh air and sunshine was great. I want to do this again today because it will be a Mumford and Sons concert (Irish, after all) but we have a winemaker’s dinner tonight.

Oh, so we signed up for this dinner like…well, one day. But no one has been able to tell us when it is. Or where. We’ve asked waiters, bar tenders, the maitre’d, called some random phone number. Finally, we were told it was the 15th and we would receive an invitation that morning with the time. Which is sort of odd, really. I mean, I am trying to see all the live music here. I have plans! Anyway, on the morning of the 15th, there was no invite. Finally, someone told Jason the cancelled the 15th and it was now the 17th. But no time or place. Wait for the invite. WHY MUST IT BE MYSTERIOUS? Today, the invite arrived by hand delivery from some chef. That seems a bit overkill, honestly. Also, apparently, we have to dress up. They are eager for my “graceful presence” which is English for them obviously having never met me. But, I brought wine colored velvet pants for such an occasion as this. 

We’re now 4 days from Portugal. Time finally feels like it is going slowly, which I am very thankful for. I want to feel every single one of these stress free days away from my very busy life. That said, I continue to be very pleased that I miss the ranch and the busyness of it. It is a very good life, indeed. 

Boarding the Ship!

 On the morning of embarkation, we were up early all excited and ready to really get this thing going. We were in boarding group 2 which seemed to mean we should arrive between 11:30-12:30. If you know me, you know that this means we got there at like 10:30. Hey, they don’t say the early bird gets the worm because the early bird gets the shaft and sits around waiting, right? Right! We had a great Uber driver who dropped us at the right spot, a porter immediately took our 5 bags (2 back packs, 1 medium suitcase, 1 hanging bag, and 1 wine suitcase), and then we were in line!

The first part of the line moved pretty quickly. We had to show passports, COVID vaxx cards, and go through a metal detector. Fine. Then we went upsairs and stood in another line so we could again show passports, vaxx cards and now also negative COVID tests from the last 3 years. This line was a little slow because some people hadn’t uploaded anything prior to arriving. They had to start at the beginning with taking their pictures, etc. Sort of confusing because, in theory, you entered a different color line if you had already uploaded everything…that was a good idea but in the end, all lines ended up in the same spot with the same group of verifiers.

This boarding process is always a little stressful because you don’t know exactly what will happen, it’s crowded, it’s hot (why is it always hot?). This brings out the worst in people who have control or patience issues. It’s fun to watch- so long as you aren’t traveling with one. Every time we saw something lose it, Jason would look at me and say, “NOPE.” Then, we would mentally add them to the nopebook of future people to not hang out with. I mean, at my age, I’ve already met more than my fair share of butt heads. Why would I invite more in?

The lines also gave us a little bit of time to look around. We were pleased to see at least 4 other people who might be in our decade. What do you know?

Once on the boat, we, of course, went straight to a bar and had gin and tonics. I mean, like one does. They said our rooms would be ready by 1 so heck, we were killing time and making friends with bar tenders. I was starting to feel pretty dang excited.

For an entire year, we’ve been on an unending roller coaster of emotions and worry with this trip. Would it ever happen? Would COVID cancel it? And in recent weeks, really, Putin? Now we have to be at war, too? On that note, we figure that we might not get to go to Turkey. We’ll see if they need to divert us elsewhere. If we get diverted, I’m just putting it out there that I want to divert to Croatia and Venice. Ok, thanks.

We cruised to the room to check it out. Looks good! Very pleasantly surprised with the closet space, the shelves, the space between furniture. It feels much more spacious than our Holland America cruise. W00t!

Since our bags hadn’t yet been delivered, we busted out of there and went to explore. This is a much bigger ship than our last and there are all kinds of cool spots. We found our way to deck 16, the lido deck, so we decided to have some lunch. There is still a buffet, but you can no longer serve yourself. The crew is masked and gloved and they do all the serving. Works for me. Buffets are normally nasty so this is a big upgrade in my book.

We went to the pool deck for the sail away party at 3:30. But, we didn’t sail away and there was no party. There was a little rain and some wind. I’ve never yet been on a boat that left anywhere near the time they said. No exception here. It wasn’t until about 8 PM that the boat left. At that time, we’d just sat down for dinner and didn’t get to see our big launch. Dang it!

Our bags finally got delivered about the time we were starting to get nervous about it. We got everything put away and while doing so, our room attendant showed up with champagne. I accept! 

So, here we are lying low for a week at sea crossing the Atlantic. It’s different when you can’t get off the ship for a long time. We remember this from crossing the South Pacific. It’s kind of fun for the crew because they have longer times to do their things, right? LIke you have can a show or something last an hour because we have all the hours of the day to use and not just a couple hours at night around shore excursions. But, it is also draining for them because we never leave:) Food wise, you know nothing fresh is coming on this boat for 7 days. If you want sushi, you are eating it day one and then avoiding it like the plague the rest of the time. By the end of the week, we’ll be out of whatever the favorite wine by the glass is, we’ll be recycling dinner entrees into soups, etc. I don’t mind it. I like the creativity that comes with it. I will also like it when we hit Portugal on Sunday and we restock all the fresh stuff. 

Speaking of this kind of thing, we can’t get gas for a week either. Imagine how much gas this ship must hold to haul us all the way across the Atlantic non-stop for 7 days! Mercy!

We haven’t met any cruise friends yet, but it is early. We’re hoping to find our Rod and Louise (the couple we met and friended last time) soon. Today is the first art auction and first wine tasting and this is what we did the most of last time. Perhaps our people will be there. 

As of now, Jason is attempting to nap. He hasn’t slept much at all in our first 2 nights. I’m writing, listening to live piano music, and sipping a Bloody Mary. Not bad for whatever day this is!