Puerto Montt

 We woke up to discover we’d arrived in Porto Mott,Puerto Mott, Puerto Montt, and about 12 other ways to spell the town. We didn’t have an excursion booked which meant it was time for my favorite activity- a walkabout!

We had to take a water shuttle/tender to the shore which always takes a little time but is generally no big deal. Except that one time in the South Pacific where it was very hot, no breeze, high seas, and we just sat there steamin’ and rollin’ till I thought I’d die. Coincidentally, this is also the South Pacific - but not THAT South Pacific. But, I digress…

We heard there was a fish market to the left and everything else to the right. At the smell of the intersection, we decided to turn right. There was a gorgeous, clean, spacious boardwalk that meandered all along the shoreline. It had plenty of green space, tons of play grounds, a little skatepark where a dad was helping his little girl learn jumps at the top of the ramps, and a zillion good spots for picture taking. 

We got all the way down to a large mall area and crossed over to the city side to mill about the local markets. It was awesome - we realized it was Saturday so all the locals were out completing their Christmas shopping and darn near everything you could think of was out for sale. And holy cow- the farmer’s market stands- they had the largest cherries I’ve ever seen. They were the size of apricots!! Some places just sold beautiful wrapping paper, bags, boxes, and bows for sale. You forget that some places don’t have Target or other general store to go buy all the things. 

The people were very relaxed and chill. No one approached us, hollered at us, or any other crazy thing you sometimes see when your cruise ship rolls into a tiny little port. 

We hoped to find a cool restaurant with a patio or cool sitting space to linger but no such luck. So, we ended up making a huge loop and getting back to the ship. I love a good walk about - especially in a new town.

Back on the ship, we noticed they were showing an NFL game on the massive movie under the stars screen so we went up to watch but man! It was so cold in the shade and then oddly hot in the sun! Hahaha. I tried to sit right on the line and get the best of both worlds but really I just ended up sitting there cold. That’s ok! 

After dinner, we cruised past some really cool landscapes - including one that reminded me of Morro Bay back home! Speaking of back home, we cracked up when we saw one lonely piece of litter - a Coors original:)

Getting Angry!

 We awoke our first morning on the ship after a great night’s sleep. The beds on the princess ships have always been really good and we were pleased to see this was no exception.

I thought I would run down to the coffee bar that makes the best lattes and grab us a couple but then I thought, well, what if I can’t get back in the room? So, I ordered room service. It’s been arriving lightning fast as opposed to our last 2 cruises. 

After a nice, slow start, we were ready to emerge and go walk around the ship. We stepped out and tried our medallions on the door to find that, alas, we still cannot unlock our own door. At this point, Jason is beginning to fume. It’s pretty annoying to not be able to come and go as we please. And, it’s pretty annoying to keep having to waste time standing in the guest service line behind all the cranky people. Also, we were quickly becoming the cranky people. And that’s also annoying. Jason finally said, “I guess I’m going to have to get angry.”

We asked the Malbec crew what they thought we should do and someone suggested asking to speak to the hotel manager. Great idea! So, now we either had to stand in the long line of angry people or find a house phone. Jason didn’t want to have a cranky conversation in front of people so we found a house phone in a quiet corner where he called. He asked to speak to the hotel manager and was immediately told no. This did not sit well with him.

It went back and forth a bit and the person said she would call him back and he said, “Where? Where will you call me? Cause I CAN’T GET IN MY ROOM.” Finally, she said stay right there- I’m coming to you. Give me 5 minutes.

So, you may recall if you followed my quarantine cruise story, that these medallions we wear allow them to track us everywhere we go. So, she knew exactly where we were and before long, here she came. As soon as we saw each other, we all laughed. It was the same lovely lady who helped us last night that we’d poured on the kindness to. She said, “please don’t kill me!” Hahahaha. 

All three of us went to our room to try the 2 new medallions and 2 new key cards she printed. None of them worked. Finally, IT arrived, disassembled the door device, rebooted a few times, blah blah blah, and before long- success! Yeehaw! And for our trouble, our new guest services angel called us in a day pass to the Enclave pool/spa/sauna room. I’ll take it!

Fresh off our new victory, we needed a nap, but I also needed to do some laundry. We packed about 5 days worth of clothes so it was already time to cycle. Thankfully, the laundry room which has an amazing 2 whole washing machines, had one available. Score!

We do love a sea day- the quietness. The lack of hurry. The fact that there is just nowhere to go. It’s so starkly different from our normal way-too-much-for-any-given-day hustle. We always say that it takes us about 2 weeks off work before we feel like we’re finally settled in to being relaxed. We’re currently on day 9 as I type, but this day was merely day 7!

We rallied for Vines and the whole gang arrived - everyone freshly rested. The music was rocking in the piazza and there is great music on this ship BUT, we all were noticing how loud it was. Rich has a decibel meter app and he pulled that out and WOW - it really was loud! Most people on this boat are in the “that hurts my ears” age bracket so it is a bit surprising they’d crank it up! But also, the dance floor was packed and everyone seemed to be having a great time.

We didn’t make it to the dining room for dinner so we ordered salads to the room once we got back. In all our cruising, we often miss dinner because we get into great conversations at happy hour. I wouldn’t change a thing. 

To The Ship!

When we woke up, we were delighted to find that it was FINALLY time for the ship! We are not planners and prefer spontaneity at all times- especially while traveling. But, we have had this trip booked for…at least 6 months. Good Lord, that’s too long to have to think about a trip coming. How do you planner people do this? It’s exhausting.  Now, just because we had it booked that doesn’t mean we did any form of actual preparation until about 3 days before- this is normal. But anyway, I was excited to be heading to the sea! Bring it on, already!

Our driver was there- early even. He spoke not one drop of English so I got to practice my Spanish some more. And thank God for it because the first thing he said was, “Adonde vas?” - where are you going? I thought that was odd because a) I had to list all the details when I booked the transport and b) the concierge went out and talked to him. But easy enough- I say, “al cruzero- Majestic Princess”. He said, “NO!” I said, “Si!” He said, “No Valparaiso?” I said, “NO! San Antonio!!” He said, “El medije a Valparaiso.” Dang man, you’re giving me a heart attack. So, there are 2 cruise ports that serve Santiago - one to the north, Valparaiso. And one to the south, San Antonio. We were going to San Antonio but our concierge told him the other. Whew! Crisis averted. 

We settled in after that and enjoyed a gorgeous drive over the mountains to the sea. We passed by thousands of acres of gorgeous farmland- including grapes and olives!  Everything seemed to be tended by hand. We didn’t see any big machinery. The driver played a fun blend of local pop/US pop and Christmas music. It was perfect.

As we rolled into the little coastal town, the driver once again struck fear into my heart by asking me where he should turn. Bro- do I look like I know this area? No one is more dumb than me right now. However, both of us joyously shouted a moment later when we spotted the ship! Thankfully, there was only one in port and only one way to get to it. 

If you’ve ever cruised, you know that boarding can sometimes be…a situation. You might be in line for hours. You might arrive before the process starts and wait hours BEFORE you wait hours. It’s anarchy. 

But this time was the best ever! We walked up, gave our luggage, got a number because they said they hadn’t started yet, walked in, sat down, and immediately they called our number. It was so fast that we were up to the processing station before I’d ever found our medallions! 

Next thing you know, we were cruising into the piazza and it was…like 10 am! YO! Tradition requires a first stop in vines so we pulled up to the bar for the requisite gin and tonic and met Julio who was really lovely but absolutely not James. James ruined us for life. So, a toast to James, our all time favorite bartender and one time underground smuggling ring master. Simply the best!

Our friends had all gotten off the boat for an excursion so we’d have to wait a bit to be reunited. We went up to our room just to see if it was ready and it was. It was also completely decorated! Our friends had partnered up with our room steward to deck the halls before we arrived! So fun. We also found our unique t-shirts (spelled the name of the city we will visit on Xmas day wrong) and a special gift wrapped in….sanitary napkin bags - LOL! Improvising gift wrap like a boss. We got a tiny light up Christmas tree and a penguin wearing a santa hat to hang on the wall. So fun. 

Our cabin steward popped by to meet us. His name is Sep, so quickly ‘sup, Sep? Became my favorite greeting. Unfortunately, for the first 24 hours or so we kept forgetting Sep so it was sup sip, sup sup, sup soap and many other things before we could lock in on Sep once and for all. 

We spent the afternoon getting unpacked and settled in the room and then had lunch at Alfredo’s, which is this terrific pizza place on many of the Princess ships. Before long, it was happy hour so we headed to Vines and grabbed a glass and waited for friends to arrive back on the ship! Eventually, everyone wandered in except Jerry who was worn out already so there we all were again - Rich and Ginny, Mike and Diana, and Sue (and Jerry). We all met on the trans-Atlantic Mediterranean cruise and various groupings of us have seen each other pretty consistently since then. This is our 3rd cruise with them - should have been the 4th but you may recall we bailed out of the Iceland cruise last June to divert to the south of France for the magical wedding of Pete and Mandy.

Anyway, things are looking good for another amazing time full of laughs and storytelling and general mayhem. Just what the doctor ordered. 

Right about the time this glorious fairytale was really kicking in, however, something else happened that was less glorious and that was we were unable to get into our room. Neither medallion worked. Now, this happened earlier too but they said it was fixed. We’d actually never yet been able to get into our room by ourselves but twice Sep happened by and let us in and once the door was open because he was cleaning it. Jason had already spent time at the guest service desk trying to get it fixed. The poor staff had been dealing with mad and rude customers all day so we poured on the charm and tried to exceed all expectations of niceness. When the latest fix didn’t make our medallions work OR the key card they printed, they called a supervisor who came to open it…which was great but also did not actually fix anything. You know? But we were too tired to care at the moment so we went to bed and figured we would solve it the next day. 

All things considered, a wonderful day and it feels so great to be back on the ship and on the sea. 

The Subpar HoHo

Well, if you learn nothing else from today’s entry- please know that the Ritz Carlton in Santiago is absolutely spectacular and should you find yourself in need of a hotel in the town, pick it. Whew! Amazing.

So, we got to our room, which was a large suite with a separate sitting area. We found out we had lounge privileges so we scooted right up to the 10th floor to grab some breakfast before it was over. The lounge was awesome- expansive, beautiful, terrific city views, a full concierge desk, and plenty of snacks, meals, and everything to do drink. As we walked in, the concierge lady greeted us, “Buenos Dias!” We said buenos dias back to her but of course in doing so she realized that we were North American;) I’m not offended. I’ve been having bad pronunciation of other languages a very long time at this point. She told us that they were having a wine tasting in the lounge that night and did we want to come. Heck yes, lady. Do we look like people who don’t drink wine? 

After breakfast, we cruised back to the room to take showers and naps and get a bit settled. We didn’t plan to even really venture out since we figured we would be jet lagged or just out of whack. When we got hungry for lunch later in the day, we ended up down in the lobby restaurant for some appetizers - ceviche and albalone and they were both delicious and fresh. In true non-American style, that appetizer involved a lot of lingering so before you knew it, it was time for wine tasting back up in the lounge. Such a tough day.

Surprisingly, the wine tasting was just for 3 of us. It looked like they expected 6 but those other 3 dorks no-showed. I mean, there are stupid people out there. We carried on.

The dude giving the wine tasting was GREAT. The bar was pretty low coming into it. I mean, it could have been some hotel lounge staff pouring house wine but this guy came up from the restaurant and knew EVERYTHING about Chilean wine. He’d also traveled all 50 states and knew all the lingo and slang. We had the best time learning from him with our one other taster- a female doctor from Georgia, the state, not the country.

One of the funny things we learned is that Chileans are behind in knowing how to cook beef. They almost always cook it well done. NOTED. What the heck, people? Camilo, our tasting guide, told us he didn’t know it could taste good until he moved to Colorado. 

So, once done learning and tasting, we lingered a bit and ended up meeting this great family visiting from Walla Walla, Washington. They are also cruising to Antarctica but on National Geographic. Hard core people! Val, the wife/mom in the family, told us they were going on the Hop On Hop Off bus the next day and we immediately thought - oh perfect. We’ll do that, too.

With that, the not-so-full night of sleep started rearing its ugly head so we decided to head out. Camilo let us take all the bottles of wine (!!!) so we gave 2 to the Walla Walla family and brought 2 down to enjoy ourselves. Before going to the room for the night, we popped into the lobby to hear some live music, which was a great pianist playing all kinds of things, including some Christmas tunes. Before long, we headed to the room, found a Christmas movie and had a quiet evening. A perfect filler day.

The next morning, I popped up to the lounge to grab us some cappuccinos. We showered, grabbed breakfast, got the HoHo scoop from the concierge, and took off walking in the general direction, which proved to somehow be wrong, as it always is.

We finally found the meeting point, a park called Peru Park, but the concierge said there was, “no sign, but don’t worry, it is there.” And, he was right. Problem was, the park was decently large - so when the bus was magically there, we were almost exactly opposite of it. It drove away as we finally got there. Poop. 

We killed time by watching the local dogs enjoy playing in the park. Finally, the next HoHo rolled around and we made it on. We were delighted to find the bus was very air conditioned! It was near 90 and way more humid than we are used to. 

So, we get to the first stop which was some large, fancy looking shopping mall. We weren’t going to get off because…see description of first stop. However, quickly the staff came up and said they weren’t going to stop 2 and did we mind. We really didn’t mind because we were trying to get to stop 3 so we said, ok. Fine. But then about 2 minutes later, he came back and said everyone had to get off because there was a flat tire. Which felt suspicious- especially when we got out and discovered there was no flat tire.

The guy said, “You are ok, yes?” I said, “I have no idea what’s going on but who cares!” We laughed. Another bus came right up and we all got on it. 

Now, those of you who know me will be surprised to hear that we got off at stop 3 to ride these wild ass, freely swinging, terrifying death machines called cable cars up the side of a damn mountain. I started saying crazy, bizarre things the second it took off, which is impressive because I was also holding my breath, screaming, and crying. Jason laughed and filmed it. lol. 

Thankfully, stop 3 and stop 4 both were at the top of this mountain, so I was able to come back down the mountain in a different way- this was my first time in a funicular and despite the view of other people’s butts in our faces, I’d say it was pretty solid. It stayed on the ground and just sort of slid us to the bottom in a nice, controlled way. Bam. 

At the stop, we waited for a bus with a lady who was from Illinois. She was a bit of a hoot. Goes traveling solo all over the world and almost never tells her children. She said the son just found out because he tracked her on the 360 app and then said, “Mom, are you really in South America right now?” So crazy! Another crazy thing - I was trying to read the map and struggling more than usual when I realized it was in Portuguese. It’s been almost 30 years since I’ve had to use my Portuguese so I guess I should be impressed that I was able to read it at all.

Anyway, back on the bus and we’re cruising around enjoying seeing different areas of the city - all of which is sparkling clean and modern. We get to about stop 6 and they tell us we have to get off the bus again because… they were late. I thought, well, if you’re late how bout we stay on and you get moving? But, no. So, we again hopped off and then got on the next bus which was apparently on time.

Not for long, however. Around stop 7, we noticed our driver started driving about 3 mph. Approximately.  He literally slowed down to miss every green light. Now, I’m not saying we’re the smartest people ever, but we had a feeling something was awry. All we wanted to do at this point was make it back to stop 10, which would complete our loop. But going from stop 7-9 took almost an hour and when we got to 9, the driver turned the bus off. That seemed odd.

A few minutes later, some nicely dressed man hopped on and shook the hands of the driver and the host and then sat behind us. We all just sat there. This also seemed odd. Our host came around and seemed to be asking us if we could skip the next stop. We said - that’s where we need to get off. What’s going on? She said she needed some time. I don’t know what for, but ok.

About this time, the nicely dressed dude decides to point out to us that we can use the HoHo app to track the buses. We don’t have WiFi, we say. He said the bus does. We said that’s not what the bus is telling people. Then we asked him, because he seemed to know things, if it was normal to have to get off the bus and get on other buses so often. He said no- that’s not normal. And then he stood up and left. Like, just got off the bus. Ok.

So, the host comes back by and we said why was he driving so slow? What’s going on? She said the bus was hot. At this point, I was like we need to get off and figure out how to walk to the hotel. Host seemed sad and asked if we were coming back tomorrow. Lady, are you serious? First, no. I’m leaving town but even if I weren’t, why would I want to do this again you weird, subpar HoHo! 

Jason had been very pleasantly zoned out and therefore wasn’t sure how to get back to the hotel but I had been paying close attention because I had a feeling we would soon need other arrangements so off we went and before long, we were back at the Ritz. 

We were starving and so thirsty after thinking we were on a 2 hour journey but then going on a 6 hour journey with no food or drinks. Also, we were now sweating. So, up to the lounge for bottles of water, Chardonnay, and a quick snack. About this time, I realized we didn’t get an email confirm for our transportation the next day from Santiago to the cruise port so Jason sat with the concierge to see if they could figure that out. I bumped into the Walla Walla fam and told them about the HoHo shenanigans. They ended up not going because jet lag hit and their son slept till 3 PM. I said, hey! Good news! You got some great sleep AND didn’t experience the HoHo.  

Once Jason and the concierge felt decent about the chances of the driver showing up the next day, we headed for the room. We ordered in some Chinese food, took showers, and watched another Christmas movie. Uber Eats, for the win! Although in Chile, you have to provide your delivery person a code they text you or they won’t give you the food - which is great, because this stops delivery to the wrong person- but not great because the code went to Jason, who was in the tub, and the concierge and I were very confused!!! 

So, a bit of a weird day but also we got to explore the town, have some laughs, eat great food, feel stark terror and panic, and end with a Christmas movie. I call it a win. We went to bed ready to wake early for our drive to get on the ship!